5 Times Kirk Handed Out Valentine Sweethearts
by astronomylover
Summary: ...and One Time It Worked. Slash - Kirk/McCoy. The title says it all. Please R&R.


Five Times Kirk Handed Out Valentine Sweethearts (and One Time It Worked)

_One._

At the age of five, Jim Kirk was old enough to realize that girls were more than things with cooties. (Actually, he was starting to question whether or not these "cooties" that the other guys talked about really existed.) He was very smart for his age, understanding many concepts that others didn't. However, a lot of the time, when he came to realize some of these "grown-up" things, as his mother called them, he preferred to keep the discovery to himself, lest his stepfather disapprove of him asking questions.

For the past two years (seeing as that was as far back as he could remember), every February 14th, his stepfather would come home with candy, flowers, and a gift of some sort for his mother. Yes, she'd be thrilled about being lavished with attention, but Jim didn't miss the sadness in her eyes that would vanish quick as blinking when first presented with the gifts. He knew that Winona missed her husband; she missed him as much as Jim missed him – an amount more vast than the universe itself. However, because George was gone, she had found herself another husband, and by his standard, was happy.

Valentine's Day was the holiday, and Jim had picked up on the tradition early on. Over the previous week, he had paid specific attention to Lexi, one of his classmates at school. His mother had suggested that it would be a nice gesture for Jim to buy her a card and maybe some candy, and Jim rather liked Lexi (as much as he understood the term), so that was exactly what he did. February 14th, after the two had come home from school, Jim walked over to Lexi's house, reaching up on tip-toes to ring the doorbell. Lexi answered the door, looking perplexed as to why Jim Kirk would be standing on her doorstep.

"Lexi, I – uh – wanted to give you this," Jim said, blushing red.

Reaching out, he shoved a Valentine's card with Cupid on the front of it into her hand; taped on the inside of the card was a single Valentine Sweetheart Candy, emblazoned with "UR A QT" in red letters. He watched as she read the card, then smiled.

"Thanks, Jim!" Lexi replied, smiling, before closing the door.

Jim's shoulders slumped and he heaved a sigh as he began the walk back to his own house. Maybe he didn't understand girls just as much as he thought he did.

* * *

_Two._

It had been fifteen years since the death of George Kirk, and to Jim, it seemed as if his mother had gone through almost as many husbands. True, he knew it had only been three, but to him, they never seemed to stick around long enough to make a difference in his mind. He had thought the previous one especially bad…that is, until Frank moved in. For some reason, Winona absolutely _adored_ Frank; Jim supposed this was because he never showed his true colors when she was around.

Winona had taken to going off-planet much more often lately than she had in the past, a pattern Jim had noticed beginning almost directly after she and Frank had been wed. Jim thought it had served Frank right when his car had been destroyed (Winona had been off-planet then, too), but the punishment that had come after the destruction made Jim seriously question his antics. He had tried very hard to keep his rebellious side under control…at least when Frank was around.

When February 14th rolled around this year, Jim's mother was again off-planet. However, she had been patched through via Starfleet tools so that Frank and she could talk on the view screen in the main family room. Jim had been shushed out the second Frank realized who it was, and it was only when Winona asked to speak to her son that Jim was allowed in.

"Give us some time alone, please, Frank," Winona asked, smiling at her husband.

"Sure thing, honey," he replied, and left, shutting the family room doors behind him.

When the doors shut quietly behind Jim, Winona smiled, the first true smile Jim had seen her wear in years. Rummaging in his pocket, Jim found what he was looking for and pulled out a Valentine heart candy, holding it up to the view screen. Echoing what was written there, Jim spoke.

"Home soon," he said simply, a single tear making its way down his cheek.

As tears began to fall from Winona's eyes, she replied, "I'll try, Jim. I'll really try."

* * *

_Three._

By the time Jim turned seventeen, he truly understood the relationship between guys and girls…and exactly how much fun it could be. As one could expect, he was the go-to guy for relationship advice for the male members of his class; he had stopped counting the number of hookups when it passed ten. However, to Jim, all those other get-togethers with the girls of his class (despite them being beautiful and lovely and other words that he'd prefer not to say in mixed company), it wasn't helping. The one girl – that girl! – who he'd been trying to get to like him – hell, even acknowledge him! – for a couple of years now still stubbornly refused to give in to the patented Jim Kirk charm.

Valentine's Day rolled around, and Jim decided to make it his personal mission to make it impossible for her to ignore him. A dozen roses appeared inside her locker that morning; more in her desk in class. He offered to carry her books for her from class to class – she refused – and offered a ride home (in the car that most girls would _kill_ to get a ride in, in both senses of the words). He tried every pick up line he could remember (and there were quite a lot of them), but to no avail. Finally, just as the school day was about to end, he saw her again as she was walking to the bus. Calling her name, he threw a valentine heart candy in her direction, one that she caught. Upon seeing what it was, though, she let it drop from her hand.

Jim decided to walk home that day, a decision that made the trip home take two hours instead of fifteen minutes. By the time he was almost there, stars were twinkling merrily overhead. The conversation heart in his right hand – UR A STAR – seemed to mock him with ever step he took. Out of all the girls that fell at his feet, he couldn't catch the one that really mattered.

* * *

_Four._

Life at the Academy was never boring. Whether one was studying for exams, hanging out with friends, attending classes, or just taking in your surroundings, there was always something to do (or, in the case of Jim Kirk, _someone_.) Ever since their tryst in bed together, Jim Kirk and Gaila had become surprisingly good friends. They had spent the one night, decided that it wasn't going to work (neither of them were people who were easily tied down to a single individual), and settled on being friends. They bumped into each other often on campus, and tended to study for exams together. (And yes, in this case, study did really mean _study_.) However, this friendship was beginning to grate on Uhura. As Gaila's roommate, half the time Gaila and Jim spent together was spent in her room, and she, being someone who needed to be able to point out small idiosyncrasies in language differences, needed quiet. When Jim and Gaila were found together, it was almost never quiet.

February, just like every other month since this friendship had been formed, was no different. The two were loud, rambunctious, and overly happy (but, to Uhura, it only seemed to be this way when she needed to study). Valentine's Day was just like every other day in the month…or so Uhura thought. She awoke that morning to find Gaila gone, her bed made, and Jim Kirk nowhere to be found. As she got up and dressed, brushing her hair using the mirror over her desk, she thought this could be the beginning of a perfect day…until she saw the Valentine heart on the desk below the mirror.

LOVE ME TENDER, it stated in big, red letters.

"JIM KIRK, YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR BACK!" Uhura yelled, her face as red as the lettering on the candy. "YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!"

Uhura was so upset at the prank that she missed the sound of Gaila's and Jim's giggles coming from inside the closet.

* * *

_Five_.

The _Enterprise_ is the Federation's Flagship. It's the ship sent to most meetings that end in peace treaties. However, even on the ship that gets arguably the most exercise out of the whole rest of the fleet, there are occasions where the officers of said ship get bored. (Starfleet would find this hard to believe, seeing as it is consistently sending them things to do, but the officers are only human…or, at least, most of them are.) The officers have mostly the same duties to attend to day in and day out, and when those have been carried out, these Federation officials have been known to play pranks or engage in other non-harmful activities, such as playing instruments, games of chess, or the like, to pass the time.

James T. Kirk, despite being Captain of the Federation's flagship, gets bored along with all the rest of his crew. Starfleet knew, when they assigned him the _Enterprise_, that he was a bit of a troublemaker, but they also know that he has a good head on his shoulders and would never do anything to endanger the lives of his crew or his ship.

When Valentine's Day rolled around on the _Enterprise_ during the first year of its five year tour of duty, Kirk decided that he'd stir up a bit of trouble. He gave Uhura another naughty heart, reminiscent of the one he'd left her during their time at the Academy together; this time, however, he got slapped for his troubles. Her candy, however, was on the sidedish of trouble. His main prank was set on Spock.

Since saving the _Enterprise_ and the remainder of Starfleet's graduation class (and the Earth as a whole), the two had begun to get along much better than before. One could almost go as far as to say that they had become friends. True, they still had their differences in opinion (and it was often up to Bones to break up the fight), but in the long run, they'd support one another, no matter what.

During their lunch break in the officer's mess that day, Kirk got up to get his and Spock's meals. Before coming back to the table, however, he deposited a Valentine's candy heart on top of Spock's main dish. When he returned to the table, he re-struck up the conversation he had previously been having with Scotty. It didn't last long, however, as Spock interrupted with an extremely confused look on his face.

"Captain, I do not understand this."

Kirk turned away from Scotty (who had known what Kirk was planning) to face his first officer, a grin on his face.

"What don't you understand, Spock? It's candy."

Spock's eyebrows furrowed further as he picked up the little yellow heart off his plate and stared at it intently, as if exposing it to such an expression would have it explain itself to him.

"I am a Vulcan," he said, looking around at Kirk, Scotty, and Bones, who had wandered over two seconds earlier.

"I can't argue with that logic, Jim," Bones said, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "He is indeed a Vulcan."

Spock frowned again.

"If I am indeed a Vulcan, as Dr. McCoy verifies, why am I a tiger?" he asked, cocking his head to one side, confused.

The only answer he got was the hysterical laughter from the other members of the table.

* * *

_And the one time it worked…_

The transporter engaged at Bones' cue to Scotty, and he watched as the four members of the away team reappeared on the pad. The fact that the team had left with five members was lost on McCoy as he rushed over to Spock, who was holding Captain Kirk upright. Blood was dripping from an open wound on Jim's right arm, and another cut was dripping from his forehead. As Spock handed Kirk over to McCoy (and Nurse Chapel, who had followed him into the transporter room), McCoy felt his shirt soak through, leaving no doubt in his mind that Jim was also lacerated somewhere on his stomach or abdomen.

"Bones…why's your shirt orange?" Jim slurred, smiling up at his CMO.

"Damnit, Jim. Shut up and try not to move. We'll be in sickbay soon."

With Nurse Chapel's help, they managed to carry the Captain over to the biobed nearest to the door. For the next hour or so, Sick Bay was a flurry of motion. Jim had lost a lot of blood down on the planet, and it was up to McCoy to make sure that he didn't bleed out. Spock came down from the bridge every twenty minutes or so, checking in on the status of the Captain's health. After about an hour and a half, McCoy sat down in the chair behind his desk, sighing as he wiped a hand across his forehead. Jim would be okay…thanks to him. However, there had been a moment when he hadn't been too sure…

For the next twenty minutes, Bones just sat in his chair and thought. Thought about what could have happened had the _Enterprise_ not beamed the away team up when they did. Thought about what would have happened had he not been able to save the Captain. Thought about what would have happened had his best friend in the galaxy died on _his_ table. Thought about what it would have happened had he never had the opportunity to –

"Bones," a voice rasped.

McCoy's head, which had fallen down into his hands while thinking, shot up. He was up and out of his chair before five seconds had passed; since he was the only person in Sick Bay that was actually _sick_, it was obvious – Jim was awake. The first thing McCoy did upon noticing the Captain was awake was to check his vitals, look over the wounds, make sure everything on the surface was okay. Next, he turned to speak to the Captain directly.

"Jim, what happened?"

Kirk laughed, a rasping sound that probably hurt so much that it took all the humor out of the laugh itself. Walking over to the side wall, he fished a couple of ice chips from a bucket and walked back over to Jim and began feeding them to him one at a time. Once all of the ice chips were gone, Jim spoke.

"First, Spock probably told you…what happened," Jim began, his breathing still not quite even. "Second, do you know what day today is?"

McCoy's visage took on a completely confused look; Jim had almost been killed on an away mission and he wanted to know what day today was? Had he been knocked on the head a little too hard?

"It's…uh…I don't know the stardate off the top of my head, Jim," McCoy replied, looking around his office as though the walls would provide him with the answer.

As he was about to walk away, Jim reached over and grabbed his arm weakly, trying to prevent him from walking away. Swallowing slowly, Jim spoke again.

"It's Valentine's Day, Bones."

McCoy was utterly confused. Why did Jim care that it was Valentine's Day? He was almost killed, for god's sake. Becoming more and more upset by the minute, he decided to tell Jim this.

"Good god, man! You were almost _killed_ down on that planet! Why do you give a damn that it's Valentine's Day?" Bones asked angrily.

In response, Jim uncurled his right fist with a smile. Sitting happily in the palm of his hand was a little white conversation heart, inscribed with the words "YOU & ME." Bones picked up the heart to examine it closer, his attention so focused that he didn't realize that Kirk had managed to stand up next to him. Jim watched as McCoy's expression changed faster than one of the old 21st century traffic lights: from confusion to anger to…hope? Finally, McCoy turned back to face Jim, putting the two of them nose to nose.

"You, Jim, are an idiot," Bones said, and being mindful of the laceration on his forehead, kissed him.

The two broke apart after a couple of seconds; McCoy used Jim's distraction as an opportunity to shove him back down on the bed. Jim weight hitting the bed made it bounce, mischief twinkling in his eyes.

"Why, Bones, I didn't know you were into that kind of thing."

"Hush, you," Bones intoned, but the twinkle in his eyes gave away that his heart wasn't in the insult.

McCoy walked away toward his desk, flopping down in the chair once more. He took up to staring at the wall; he became so engrossed in it that he didn't sense Jim standing there until he turned to get up…and there he was.

"Did you mean anything by it?" Bones asked, looking up into Jim's hazel eyes. "Or was it just another one of your Valentine pranks?"

Jim crouched down so that he was level with McCoy. Putting both hands on the doctor's shoulders, he spoke.

"I meant it, Bones. The candy. But not just. Every look, every gesture, every joke – I meant it. It's you and me for the long haul…if that's what you want."

The thought briefly crossed McCoy's mind that he thought he had never seen Jim Kirk look so serious over something in his life. But, he quickly dismissed it as he grabbed Jim and pulled him onto his lap, so that he was sitting in the chair with Jim balanced precariously on top of him. Looking directly into Jim's eyes, he spoke, truth echoing in every word, every syllable.

"I want that, Jim," he said softly. "I've always wanted that."

"Then it's settled," Jim replied as he broke the candy heart in half and gave half of it to Bones. "You and me."

"And no others," Bones said firmly, accepting the candy and watching as Jim toyed with his half.

"And no others," Jim echoed, laughter faintly detected in his voice. "Happy Valentine's Day, Bones."

Bones smiled and popped the half a conversation heart into his mouth, then leaned over and kissed Jim.

"Happy Valentine's Day indeed."


End file.
